My thighs are forlorn. 

You have no idea how hard it is to get a hamster drunk. 

I made dingo enrichment. 

That’s non-consensual nipple piercing!

I don’t have much hope for dog food in general. 

God has a good foot, a bad foot, and a new ‘09 Ford.

Is it because I yelled “I am Optimus Prime’s unborn fetus” out the window?

The sergeant, who really liked playing with his balls, was delighted.

You can’t use potatoes for fucking anyone!

I may not know what a rabbit is, but I know how to find eggs!