It’s like Martha Washington gave birth in my mouth. 

Gonna get me an armored dildo tonight. 

I’ve been hearing the word “bowels” a little too often lately.

I would love the far right for a bathroom. 

Yum, Bible ham paste!

Oysters just aren’t as funny as underwear. 

Why are you sexy in this hypothetical?

I’ve had more than enough of gods and their bodily fluids.