Prepare your battlefield and call the dildos to help!

I have 4 minutes of tongue left. 

My culture is not your fluffy pancake.

Let’s not get started on the whole sausage roll debacle.

I tried to download you yesterday but there was just a bunch of little people running around everywhere.

I don’t feel qualified to answer Kotex-box-caliber questions. I’m just not absorbent enough.