I can’t believe Santa Claus is two lesbians in a trenchcoat.
Actually, intimate contact is all that is needed to give rise to an electric charge. Rubbing merely serves to bring many points of the surfaces into good contact.
How do five-year-olds even know about jello enemas?
So basically, pizza is just glorified cheese on toast.
Nakedness is kind of a recurring theme for me lately. Also lunch.
The solution was to stop being a horse.
I’m just going over my list of things to do and my brain has a side note of "fit penis exploration in at some point".
I’m basically engaging in a game of chicken with my sphincter at this point.
God damn you, stop shoving your rotten soul in my lap!
If you bring a shovel into the bedroom, you're probably doing it wrong. Probably.
Oh my god, his placenta stank!
Shit, I forgot my tumor again.
Wait. Are you talking about what’s normal for penguins or what’s normal for four-year-olds?
You don't want a crispy skin on a spotted dick.
You can't have a Communist revolution without pants. I don't care what Hegel says.