Regardless of the method, does it matter which one is on top?

The answer is not an open pelvis.

My schadenfreude was gooing its ninja turtle thong at this point.

It seems that so many people suffer from a improperly-stored head.

Stop yelling at me about your "meat place".

I don't care how nice it glistens in the light, there's no way you're showing me your bodily secretions!

Oh, so do I stick that in my Google?

We can’t have you licking our machines.

You had me at Arboreal Bukkake.