I have been assured with total certainty that Ralph is not a Japanese name.

Thermonuclear hand grenades do not exist in any genre except Paranoia.

Fucking fish is where the idea for tartar sauce came from.

There's bells and whistles in a vagina?

Stinking cloud is a privilege, not a right.

Ogres are not kosher.

How can you trust a man who doesn't trust his own pants?

Think "ugh ugh man beef," but also classy.

You have a habit of shoving stuff at me and then leaving me alone with it.

You don't have to be a dick, but you do have to be firm.

In the washing machine, and the birds just keep opening their mouths because they're stupid, so they keep getting bigger...

It's like I'm sitting in the front pew of the Church of the Pickle.

Hanging out with you is like having a tumor that sings show tunes.

Your bazooka is passing through my nose.

No I am not Puerto Rican! I am not wearing a flag or a baby!

You don't beat around the bush when it comes to another man's penis.

Vaginas have confused me too much, I need some dinosaurs.

I'll grab it after you untie me.

Are you sure I won't get a virus if I put this in my slot?

So, wait, is "penis" better than "pants?"

He's got fingers and he's got a tongue, and that's attractive to me.

Can you make the uterus more artsy?

I'm not wearing smelly wood on my face!

Are you looking at her fruit?

Greasy shit isn't wonderful. Don't be stupid.

I smell like cat pee and bad decisions.

She had great tendons, but not enough of them.

Let's do it again and hold your loodle.

My meat guy better not screw me like he did yesterday.

Regardless of the method, does it matter which one is on top?

The answer is not an open pelvis.

My schadenfreude was gooing its ninja turtle thong at this point.

It seems that so many people suffer from a improperly-stored head.

Stop yelling at me about your "meat place".

I don't care how nice it glistens in the light, there's no way you're showing me your bodily secretions!

Oh, so do I stick that in my Google?

We can’t have you licking our machines.

You had me at Arboreal Bukkake.

When in doubt, just keep inserting.

Stick the worm in all the way till it comes out this end.

It's gonna be a Vicodin and carmel frapp kinda day.

Tell you what, I'll push this through from the back end, shall I?

Are you going with dumplings? 'Cause whoever eats you is going to need the biggest pair of chopsticks ever!

My pants are tingling.

His cucumber, mind you, stayed behind.

All they care about is moving the meat.

Did you just smell my merkin?

The large mountain Jew goes anywhere he wants to!

I don’t care who you give me, but I want some action!

As usual his Alligator mouth overloaded his hummingbird butt.

You'll have to do the kittens manually.

Can you stick this Fiver on my Oyster?

There is a big vagina on the screen and I can’t get it off.

Well, fuck, I’m not going to wait for fucking ever here.

When you put it in, just make sure you give it a good wiggle.

Well, I had an LG Erection, and I want to get another one because the first one died.

What's wrong with enjoying the taste of a brown log?

Wait, so you want cookies and you don't want chlamydia?