When I take my pants off, I look like a Golden Retriever.

I know that, but my penis doesn't.

I think his momma invented meat, or something.

Calm your nipples, bitch!

You named your stomach Tony Robbins?

I think I'm supposed to be ashamed about cheese.

Incestuous Cirque Du Soleil porn is a joy to watch.

Think you fool! Your truck driving sheep paraphernalia depends on it.

Some porno movies shouldn't even try to have dialogue.

"Penis" is the new "Goodbye."