I love moist cookies. They really excite me.

To be fair, all of Strawberry Shortcake's bodily emissions smell glorious.

Alright, sonny boy, you're just a-creamin' and a-creamin'.

You know, I've been teaching this stuff so long, I almost believe it.

We'll never understand oak porn.

Linda's avocado is ripe and you know what that means.

It's like my vagina is a dick-powered crazy machine!

This video was so awesome I puked swear words.

I mean, I do clean out vaginas, but not in a douchebag way.

My penis is the pipecleaner of the soul.

Did you grab my dongle?

Wow, there used to be a forest on your head. You look like an Irish Jesus.

No, I don't condone cannibalism. Though I could see why you think I would.

Oh well, time for the ritual birthday sodomy, anyway.

There are worse things to smell like than root beer.

You have to butter that asshole up!

No, I will not poop out a shopping cart for you.