A dog has no business looking like a cow.

Empty your pants! Don't make me go in there!

Stupid snotty French speaking frog licker,but the best sperm ever.

Sorry angry badger, you lust over NOTHING.

Take your hands off my Glockenspiel!

I would totally be a cat-sniffer.

How did I get dog food in my screw hole?

This man knows how to manipulate cheese!

I'm not clear on the rules about eating zombies.

Hey, you! Smell my meat!

Yes, I fly for the Big Orange.

Let me make you some flesh. You know, you can buy flesh at the school store.

I'm not Jesus, and my boobs are real!

Daffy Duck drinks Jewish wine?

Underwear bandit, I salute you.

I don't feel like I drink too much, but I certainly feel like I get hungover too often.

If you insert a dehydrated amphibian elbow-deep in a camel's bum, he will consider himself provoked.

Let me have you reboot your box.

I'd rather be pissed off than pissed on.

When I take my pants off, I look like a Golden Retriever.

I know that, but my penis doesn't.

I think his momma invented meat, or something.

Calm your nipples, bitch!

You named your stomach Tony Robbins?

I think I'm supposed to be ashamed about cheese.

Incestuous Cirque Du Soleil porn is a joy to watch.

Think you fool! Your truck driving sheep paraphernalia depends on it.

Some porno movies shouldn't even try to have dialogue.

"Penis" is the new "Goodbye."

Fuck on, my idiotic moochable drainbow hippie asshat, fuck on.

If I bring my own ice, can I still blow you?

Four score and seven...BRAAAAIIIIINNNNNZZZZ!

I'm getting wood from this wine.

Yeah, I dipped his junk in pie.

Can I nibble your butt for a minute?

Don't make me unwrap the meat!

Grown men should not be having sex with prostitutes unless they are married to them.

Crack does not smoke itself.

Basically you're the transport equivalent of genital warts.

Big evil has spoken!

This is the fatal flaw in his cheese failure.

Whoa, like, quit blocking my coldness hole man.

It's not a pubic hair kind of thing.

My vagina is all wet, and not in the good way.

I just don't think I could have group sex with a vegan.

Who doesn't like getting slapped in the face with a duck?

I'm pretty sure dead people don't have to eat.

And we're going to watch Twilight and poop later.

Yeah, you at least gotta be able to fuck somebody or piss somebody off.

You frighten my hoagie.

Elves have the most amazing kidneys in the world!

I don't use chemical fertilizers on my florescent cravat.

The whole god/no-god thing just ain't cuttin' it anymore, entertainment-wise.

I love rubbing my meat in the kitchen.

There are sticks in my pee hole!

You should totally eat some meat. Maybe you'll get the meat sweats.

I mean, if you just shit out a canary, it's not going to want to play tonsil hockey.

What have you done to anger the tuba?

It comes in haggis and you're going to wear it!

It's rare to find a really good photograph of bacon.

He shoved his hand in so many crevices that they looked like flippers.

Sperm! It's everywhere!

Hi! Would you like to buy a chocolate vagina?

Don't listen to the penis!

Yes, but I've had the excess nipples woppled to remove tamping.

I really can't afford to keep eating out this giraffe.

We are the legal stomach-intestine-toilet whores.

Right, ok, so Bing Cat o’ log chesty dam snue rat horse ride email.

I have never in my life been more flaccid than I am at this moment.

These new shoes make me feel like I'm walking on dead babies.

If I had a nose like fluorine I wouldn't be wishing anyone a merry Christmas.

Nothing says Hawaii like Canada.

Glass shards are a poor substitute for meatballs.

We've got it up, now we're trying to make it bigger.

I don't like angry soul food bitches. I like happy soul food bitches.

I'm the godfather! I own the seagulls!

Ketchup is the herpes of condiments.

No stickers for you, butt-poker!

My mother is not currently lactating.

I guess it's not exactly an orifice.

I got no meat packed in me last night.

Suck the head! SUCK IT!

People of Japan, look at my balls! My swinging pendulous balls!!!

That woman is a vagina llama!

You wouldn't need to scream "free cowbells," they advertise themselves.

I love that Puno is on the shores of lake Titicaca.

I finally figured out whose pants I'm wearing.

Wake up, it's the male reproductive system!

A guidebook is for when you go to the Cayman Islands and need to find a donkey!

Did you know that you can't own pygmies?

I should be able to put you down to service your area tomorrow.

If you don't know someone who will fuck you with an octopus, do you know anyone who would flog you with one?

Only science can save your vagina!

I've been such an angst bucket lately.

That paper better be made out of Jesus's ass.

I married three rabbit jelly moulds.

Sometimes when I eat a really good sandwich I get a boner.

They expect me to pull some instant chemistry out of my ass like some demented hat trick.

And, spectacularly, there is cheese.

Damn your lemon curd tartlet!

That's where I got licked by a marmot.

Ham is more powerful than bacon, unless you eat a lot of bacon.

I keep doing weird things with my butt.

The cock-to-tits ratio was not in his favor.

Don't you get it? If you die in Canada, you die in real life!

I'm in your Internet. Looking at your different roof.

So I'm just sticking with gonorrhea...that way, no one will ask any questions.

He's gonna get to lick jelly out of Thunderdick's butt crack!

OK, but I might die if I don't get my knee sucked.

My sister went down on a donkey!

Does anyone know how to clean mouse balls?

Do I look like someone who pounds it?

Have you seen the penis worm?

So...I'm officially out of corpses.

Fuck no, I don't want your freaky alien mothership oranges!

I gotta admit I love the smell of burning pubic hair in the morning.

An essay with a bad intro and conclusion is like a hot guy in dirty clothes.

And they climaxed in August, in all their climactic glory!

But then we'd like...poop fish.

I'm not even turned on, I just think you're retarded.

Elbow, goddamn it! Elbow! Elbow!

I am fucking the shit out of this giraffe right now.

Just think dry thoughts. Think chicken.

He's so hot I just want him to accidentally shove his dick up me.

You smell like a dead hooker covered in alcoholic bum piss. And avocado.

He keeps giving us too many penis assignments. I don't wanna do another penis assignment.

It was kind of like sexually penetrating cows.

Flaccid. That's such a great word. Flaccid.

I mean, what would you do if you saw a hippo putting on ChapStick?

Yeah, when they're not screaming or headless...they're pretty good looking.

Shut up, you sack of warts!

It's never too early to get a speculum up your cooch.

I think you think I'm thinking of something other than what I'm thinking of...not what you're thinking of.

Do I have nut skin in my teeth?

Man, you can type in anything and get titties.

That's why I said "serial number" instead of "nun panties".

Can I have some of your penis jelly?

So when they sent the babies to us, they forgot to include the faces.

I love moist cookies. They really excite me.

To be fair, all of Strawberry Shortcake's bodily emissions smell glorious.

Alright, sonny boy, you're just a-creamin' and a-creamin'.

You know, I've been teaching this stuff so long, I almost believe it.

We'll never understand oak porn.

Linda's avocado is ripe and you know what that means.

It's like my vagina is a dick-powered crazy machine!

This video was so awesome I puked swear words.

I mean, I do clean out vaginas, but not in a douchebag way.

My penis is the pipecleaner of the soul.

Did you grab my dongle?

Wow, there used to be a forest on your head. You look like an Irish Jesus.

No, I don't condone cannibalism. Though I could see why you think I would.

Oh well, time for the ritual birthday sodomy, anyway.

There are worse things to smell like than root beer.

You have to butter that asshole up!

No, I will not poop out a shopping cart for you.

Just to set the record straight, I'm not inclined towards, nor interested in, scratching the neighbors.

I don’t like cake nearly as much as I like boners.

Upon request, I can also poop rainbows.

Throughout the course of the day, I alternated between smelling like root beer and rabid oranges.

I think she has finally realized that I am the queen of winning dick-waving contests.

If nothing else...just so that I can toot my horn through your mouth!

No, what's confusing is I'm becoming Mormon and having a sex change.

So all I have to do is get some gel and spike my butt hair.

I wonder if I can have sex with a hedgehog.

It's really satisfying to squelch the life out of a potato.

I'm worried about you seeing Sgt. Pepper jerking off to Barney or something!

You might be a greater menace to the earth than lint!

I really hope I can suck something out of the horse later.

I wish we still had dinosaurs, it would totally solve the goose problem.

He likes my deltoids!

Hey! This lip gloss matches my nipples! And my phone.

Medicate me, daddy! Medicate me! Medicate me!

It's like I'm in a Greenpeace sponsored bukkake tree porn flick.

The inside of my mind is weird.

People squeezing my boobs makes me sneeze.

I love you! Stay Jewish!

How can you be pregnant?! You always wear shorts!

Everyone needs a yodeling pickle.

What's the point of being a gypsy if you can't eat swans?

Human beings are more complicated than yeast.

I guess that doesn't quite work...man cunt?

If nothing else, I've gotten rid of a lot of bodily waste today.

I don't think they should show a dead guy holding popcorn.

If you can like anal, you can like feet!

You don't think The Damnation of Faust is Christmasey?

Is that what I've been swallowing?

If I could I'd just go round the world throwing stuff at people. Like, I'd throw a tube of glue at horses, and garlic at the French.

Rabbits don't eat metal, man!

I'm a mammal but I don't like to brag about it.

Just because I said "vagina" doesn't mean I'm joking.