It's going to be a Zombie apocalypse. Pack a can opener.

If you can get it from a lizard she probably has it.

I hate it when people misuse the term "Kafkaesque". It's so annoying.

I fear the consequences of hitting a cop wearing pink.

My beer tastes like my back pocket.

I forgot my name once. It was kind of fun.

It doesn't look like an optical illusion.

I don't do sevenths. Homie don't play that.

Don't you hate it when the hole in your underwear is in the wrong spot?

Did you draw on my banana?

One of these days I'm gonna get arrested for hating someone to death.