Well, maybe rubbing soybeans over my body would be silly, then.

I did that last time and ended up with random things up my ass.

My political views are purely facial-hair based.

She fondled my pancakes. She's a pancake fondler!

But regardless of you telling me not to ask, I have to ask: Watermelon Ninja?

I need more people in my life who love my knees.

I look like I smell like fish sticks.

Thaumaturgic bezoars in artificial billabongs will save the planet.

Most things seem simple until you understand them.

I've got so much more space between my thighs now too!

If I can't throw food at the wall, I don't want to join your revolution.

I would nail someone if they had some bacon right now!

Oh my gosh, I was singing a Madonna song, and I peed myself.

Her ass smells like World War II.

Lick the stamp, peon. LICK IT.

Being an alcoholic is much cheaper than being married.

I'm just waiting for a chlorine radical to come and bite me up the ass.

I hate to break it to you, but eighteenth century tonal music doesn't give a shit about your vagina.

I've been noticing gravity since I was very young.

You have enough people eating your placenta!

I know chickens don't have vaginas!

There's treasure in my pimples!

Wait until I get into my fecal matter/colon thing.

Yes. My loins... They long for the '40s.

They’re onto us! HIDE THE WOMEN AND THE MAPLE SYRUP.