How many people actually want to see a movie where a girl's vagina has teeth?

Apparently, my body retains milk for comedy purposes.

Up to now, I've done little but twitch violently in reaction to the perpetual concerto of swamp sounds.

Man, it's a lot harder to have sex downtown than I thought it would be.

He said there's an unidentified liquid coming out of his cat's ass.

God, I'm like frickin walk of shame Barbie right now.

And his skin was like really flesh colored.

And here I am working my ass off with beaver juice.

Problem -those first two annoy me and the third one made my butt hurt.

So! They laugh at my boner, will they? I'll show them! I'll show them how many boners the Joker can make!

Robin Williams is actually Geronimo, gothed up? That explains a lot.

I don't like the looks of your uterus.

Happy Harry is so happy he looks like he was hit by a bus. That’s what happy means in French. Hit by a bus.

Once I've seen your underwear, you are no longer a threat.

I think I seriously just talked to a gremlin. It wanted pants.

I may have to rethink my whole relationship with eggplant.

It isn't love. It's lust. Waffle-induced lust.

I think I could drink my own blood. Is that weird?

I have never been more flaccid in my life!

Yes, urination is always a treat.

I cannot draft a contract using only Venn diagrams, mathematic equations and animé references!

You know what, if a vagina was used by 15 different people, that vagina would probably be as wide as this door!

So I was able to brush my teeth without feeling like I was going to puke.

You can't just not smell his pillow.

Sometimes I wish I had a job where I could potentially cut my hand off.

I'm getting my back waxed for charity.

I say it, it comes out of my mouth, that makes it REAL!

Please don't pick at my butt on the escalator.

Normally when you say that, my asshole starts puckering!

I think that I, for example, really never did have sex in a sub-zero temperature.

Is that you, Bizarro Rattslinger?

If I can't tell if you're shouting gibberish to your neighbor or talking to me, you're doing it wrong.